Khafka on the go

Here's something from the book (Khafka on the Shore):

"Sometimes fate is like a small sand storm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sand storm chases you. You turn again but the sand storm adjust. Over and over, you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones."

So there goes something from the first few pages of the book. By the way, the book, as far as I've read, is about a boy who had the courage to run away from home at the early age of fifteen.

Imagine my life. I'm 22 years old turning 23. I had an oppurtunity to be far from home, had an independent life when I was in College. Living in a city that was so unfamiliar for me. That was 6 years ago. I was sixteen. Looking back, I knew I was as afraid as a cat being chased by a dog. But see, I learned a lot. If I stayed in my hometown, finished my college there, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. I had no regrets.

But like the "sand storm", I also realized that the things that pushed me to decide to go away are also the same things that are pushed me again to go away after being back for almost two years now. The sand storm changed direction as I did. It haunted me. And while its haunting me, I'm having this crazy feeling that it's getting bigger and stronger.

Yet, I am still not sure if I'll have the courage to go through it, "step right inside of it", and I dont know when I'll be able to gather all the necessary courage to do so. For now, I'll stick to the plan, leave and see what will happen next. For sure, someday I'll have to face the sand storm, but I am just happy that it is not today.....